My original intentions with this entry were to tell you just how excremental my Saturday was. I will now instead merely highlight its crapulence:
I went to a baby shower that took me about an hour to get to
I crashed a clique of women who were all married to cops and had children, as I was forced to sit at their table most uncomfortably
I proceeded to have 3 Tanq's and tonics chased with 2 glasses of champagne
After the shower, I got lost trying to find IKEA in Elizabeth
I wandered around IKEA irritably, and somewhat drunk
I had to suffer a plate of Swedish meatballs in order to keep from getting too queasy while wandering about the store
I ate entirely too much Chinese food when I got home
I was coerced into hanging out with Ritchie by Ritchie when really, I just wanted to be left alone to write this lame entry
The only good thing that happened today was that, for the second time this month, someone has emailed me a picture of their penis. I must be giving off a very unique vibe...