I was prepared to have yet another day full of tossed, miserable thoughts. They've been served on a plate of self-hate and I eat them dutifully. Slow, like a cow chews cud, and with the same bovine stare on my face.

But this morning, I couldn't find a reason to do this to myself anymore.

"Why? Over Anthony? Getting miserable over him does nothing for me, HE certainly doesn't care if I do or don't. Frankly, it's getting a little old."

Cleaning birdshit last night helped me get to this point; Parker's cage had 1 months worth of green droppings dried on all the papers. I changed them and washed out the cagebottom and then scraped poop mounds off his perches.

It made me think I can clear the shit out of my own life, too; and it's only me who has let it build up--it's no one else's fault.

And like Parker, who is dusty and likes being that way, I'm going to go to work without showering. And I'm going to eat something fun today, instead of feeding on loathesome stuff.